I got this card this morning. The night before I was a little angry about something. Actually it started from afternoon. And it's really a small thing. But somehow I felt my personal rights/boundaries being pushed.
Ivan wanted to buy some safra card, and wanted to use Daniel's. Normally it would be totally ok. If we were going. And if my EDD won't be so close. But the safra Xmas party is on 19th dec and my EDD is on 25/12/2015. It's too close so I tot should ask Jo to buy tix instead since they are all going and we are most probably not. But Jo din seem to want to buy the tix. And then at this time I felt my boundaries being violated. I felt that I wanted to speak up for myself but I couldn't because I would look petty if I do. And I don't want to look petty to others. This blocks my throat chakra.
Hmm.. Why would I want to appear so generous that it's actually not me to impress others? Or let others see me in a way that I'm easily bullied or "won't mind if they do this to me kind"?
So after the day of medium tormenting, this morning I decided to pick a "I can do it" card. And throughout yesterday and this morning I tried to use the method of "Cancel, Clear, Delete!" By the angel cards. It's v tough! My mind seems bent on thinking about other ppl wanting to impose on me and bringing me inconvenice. I try a couple of times but it didn't seem to work. My mindset is very very strong on that. And I also realise how this negative thinking has set me to attract more similar situations.
Anyways this morning since I get the card, I have been trying to practice the "Cancel, Clear, Delete!" method though it didn't seem to be working. And I try to tell myself about the looking forward to every hour from the cards. Right now it's 10am and it so seems to be working! So now I'm recording the process of every hour.
7am - wake up feeling still disturbed
8am - open my eyes feeling better
8.15am - wake Daniel up... And go wash up. In the shower keep practicing fabulous every hour theory every now and then when I catch myself
9am - we depart from home
9.15am - a P-plate cut right in front of us in the car and almost cause us to have accident. But thru this I realised several things. My negative thinking usually led to negative things happening. Seems like accidents is the final route and it's dangerous!! 2nd, lucky nothing happened! We missed the car by a tiny bit and I was holding onto my seat belt when it happened so I think our baby is safe. Thank God!
9.30am - reach office. I realised the safra booking thing is such a small event. As long as my family is ok and my and my bb is fine and healthy that's all that matters! The rest of small stuff! I'm v thankful we still make it to office safely. And initially when Daniel seems a little irritated in the morning, I felt his protective love when he actually confronted the guy in the p-plate car, though I feel it's quite weihiam! But I am thankful and love this new honest, protection energy from my hubby. :))
10am - I open my office invitation to our company Xmas party and saw Hailey's reply "no" to invitation and say venue not so fantastic. Haha it's at our pantry. Brings a smile to me and also amuses me how she can have the guts to speak the truth so easily?! It seems so hard for me...
10.15am - Jo actually volunteered to help others book for safra in our chat group! :))
12pm - hmm Ivan haven't replied yet.. But maybe he already replied to Jo personally. :) and I begin to chat with Alex abt the dog.. It relaxes me.. And seeing the website of Garden by the Bay Xmas excites me! Now I'm just waiting to go buy fish and chips downstairs! I'm feeling happy and chirpy~
12.33pm - just went downstairs to buy fish and chips and was told they are out of flour batter so use bread crumbs. I used the chance to ask for more tata sauce. And when going back to office gantry the young female security office saw me and help me open the gate, the guy at the lift said,"after you" and let me into the lift. Ohhhh so wonderful feeling! :))
To be updated... :)
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