Meditation with baby Tara

I just went into a very peaceful and deep meditation that I have never been before. It's serious, deep and yet beautiful and peaceful, all at the same time. It feels like it's Tara meditating inside me. 

I'm meditating with this Tibetian compassion mantra music from Imee Ooi - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16A_neZPYuI&index=30&list=PLhguKEcu1KiMZxz0US2KQU9VSQXK7gNU1

The reason why we have emotions - Teal Swan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2KAquJgqNI

Using power to be authentic with others

I have been thinking about the recent incident where my batch girl was talking about how some people preach Amituofo and yet got bad heart. So very ER Xin. And I took up the courage to ask if she was referring to me, and that I did admit that I don't have Amituofo heart and have many bad habits as well. In the end where she sounded surprised and say I overthink, I do think that is it wrong for me to clarify? Because honestly there aren't many people like me who are stonch believers in Buddhism. And likelyhood of her referring to me I personally feel could be quite high. Although that might not be true, but her reactions and words did raise some questions and doubts in my mind if she is referring to me, and I truly thought that if I speak up in a loving way, at least I'm honest with her and our relationship, which is an improvement from the past. Or that it's actually causing some drift in our conversation, because we all pretty much stopped talking after that. Lol. 

But today I recieved some angel guidance that I am indeed doing the right thing. :)

Answer to my "Is Tara there?" Prayer

Recently I have been asking if Tara is still around.. Because I have been hit by a slight bout of negativity. And I also haven been reading Angel Therapy Handbook by Doreen Virtue. At first I was abit confused because I am a Buddhist. But while I am at Lapis lazuli and re borrowing the books, the store guy automatically clarified my questions without my asking. He told me that all these angels are also Guan Yin and Buddhas. Just different cultures. That's true hor? Because they serve the same purposes. So I decided to ask the angels for guidance about Tara~ I asked for actual answers to my question, because I haven't been able to use my clarity well and began to have some self-doubts about the answers I have been getting. Everything has been a "no". When I ask about Tara, or when I ask if anyone loves me, does my hubby love me, all answer is no. Which I know my hubby loves me so it's not true. Some entity or maybe my negativity has somehow affected my clarity and connection with the divine guidance. 

And yesterday while I was SMSing my batch girls, one of my batch girls say some things that made me feel like she is pointing fingers at me saying that I did not do what I preach and it's very er-xin. 

Although I did reacted in a friendly way, but the reaction from her I feel is not 100% friendly. So I had the sudden feeling to download angel cards down to my iPhone. I remembered that from the book Angel Therapy handbook that Doreen Virtue said that her life purpose is to make angel cards. So I searched for hers and downloaded it for free(trial). And through that, I learn to cut negative energetic cords with people whom I had some fears with in the past and present. And this morning when I was asking about my aura, I saw indigo blue with waves at my leg down and purple with soft edges the rest of the upper body. So I decided to look for more information. I came across this thing call Crsytal auras.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/spiritualityandconsciousness/2012/10/crystal-and-indigo-aura-color-personalities/

Crystal and Indigo Aura Color Personalities

Crystals are rare. They have clear auras and are known as the “aura chameleons” because their auras will change colors to match those of the people they are around. They then take on the characteristics, emotions, and thoughts of that color personality. Consequently, when they’re healthy and balanced Crystals can get along well with almost anyone.

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I thought this article is very interesting because I have never read about crystal people before. Although I definitely have read a lot about auras (or so I thought).

And just now when I decided to look for past , present and future cards from the angel cards, it showed me this.. Which quite amazes me.

So perhaps Tara is a crystal child.. Because I have never read about crystal aura before this.. I might be too when I was young though. And more often then not, I am usually affected by the emotions of the people around me. Even when now. So when I read this I suddenly felt that my prayers are answered. That indeed Tara is still around, because I am working with Tara, a crystal aura child. :) 

Vibrational match

"The vibration must be a match to do certain activities, engage with another person, or listen to certain music."

That's what came to my mind just now. When I was thinking of how my feelings guided me to share the link with Hailey about What Sweeter Music by John Gutter. And Hailey liked it and actually told me she will try and get her church choir to sing this song at the end of the year! Whereas in the morning I shared the link with my batch girls and both of them refused to open the link even! Haha. The vibrations are so vastly different. I guess when one watches and observes the reactions and own's feelings of guidance, one is better equipped as to when is appropriate to share certain things. In the beginning of my path it was difficult because I did not know who to share with and how. So there was a lot of obstacles and of coz my karmic blocks. Now that everything is slightly, just slightly clearer, I can see more aptly who, how, what, when to share certain stuff and how to let go when it doesn't vibrate with the other party. It's much easier and gentler to both sides. As no one like to be forced by other people's opinions. :) 

Connection with the divine

This morning I was just worrying about how my divine connection is lost, or worse recieving the news that Tara baby is not around anymore.. I keep getting different answers, sometimes yes, sometimes no. It confuses and worried me a lot. Then I read this paragraph at the end of the day when I was traveling home from work:

I was indeed having very bad disturbances of consciousness. From one negative thought to another, leading to this "Is Tara still around?" Thought. And so on. Naturally fear crept in and I'm not sure if it's yes or no answer anymore as I start to doubt my own divine connection with every negative answer I get.. Eventually I see this in my The Angel Therapy Handbook. 

:)). I'm recieving guidance from above to my questions definitely. I just remembered I did ask for answers just this morning only. And spent the whole day listening to Green Tara and Om Mani Padme Hung chants. :))

Chanting for the wish and good will of everyone

I had my wedding this year January 2015. And as my HR told me, I have 3 days wedding leave to take for my wedding/vacation by one year's time. Naturally I was v happy and I saved the 3 days wedding leave and took one day annual leave for the day after my wedding. 

Fast forward to June, my HR suddenly tell me it's not correct to claim the wedding leave after the wedding. It would be considered as abuse of wedding leave. Fair enough, but feeling disappointed, I think.. Okay, just give me back my one day annual leave that I took right after my wedding. That would be considered as rightful use of wedding leave right? 

After several months of dily daly, I keep asking my HR for advice, and was this morning told that most likely they won't give me back my one day annual leave. Finally feeling pissed off, because it's only one day annual leave, I started to complain to my HR that I'm feeling pissed off and that I'm angry that the Japan side took so long to come to a decision. And it's so simple to give me back my one day AL but they made the process so long and draggy. In the meantime, I thought about my extra 2 months unpaid leave that I wanted to take after my maternity leave. Afraid that it would affect it, I started to let go, and think it's more impt for my 2 months unpaid to be approved. My HR reassured me that it will not affect that and that she will speak to our HR head. Suddenly I remembered that Lervander told me to chant for everyone's well wishes and everything to proceed smoothly, so I turned on Green Tara's chant and begin to dedicate the chant to those who will be in charge of my requests and chant for their well being. I sincerely wish that this one day AL problem will not bring trouble to everyone and make everyone unhappy. After all it's just one day's leave.. I rather see everyone be happy instead. I begin to relax and see the light of the problem. It's really quite funny, when my HR told me that I can still take my wedding leave, providing I can link it to my wedding still. I'm like... 他们在赠我huh? How to link to my wedding when it's already gone for almost a year?? Hahahaa I can't stop laughing. The whole situation suddenly felt very funny to me. Within mins, My HR called me and told me they approved to give me back my one day annual leave because I made noise. 

Wow! It's that effective!! Sincere chanting really bring about results that's almost instantaneous! Amazing!