Ven Yin Shun

Hmm... Recently I am starting to feel things that surprises me a little...

Last Tuesday, 4th December I went for a spirtual sharing session. And my teacher just came back from Taiwan. And she shared with us the one year commemeration of the Venerable Yin Shun who passed away one year ago. When I saw the video of him, showing his pictures, there was one particular picture (shown above), that touched my heart. Actually, its more like it pains my heart to see him. I was feeling bizzare, since I have never seen him before, even though he was an extremely reputable monk.

That night, my teacher asked us how we feel when we saw his video (they were singing his poems about Buddhist refuge), and I answered her saying I felt a heartache when I saw one of his pictures.
She asked me why I felt it, but I was too shy to tell her.

Honestly, when I saw him in the picture above, there was a feeling that I could identify with. Something about a sad childhood. And when I see the picture, it felt like I was seeing him when he is young, around 4 - 6  years old or even younger?, praying in the exact same posture, asking to be relieved from his pain/ sadness. Or maybe releasing pain from his parents, or wanting more love? Not sure what he is praying for, but I could literally 'feel' his earnesty and innocent praying.. that pains my heart to see. It is a feeling that I could instantly indentify with.

The Friday I went again for another session, but this time round I was the only one from Tuesday, the rest haven't seen the video before. As my teacher was playing the video for all to see again, after which she asked me again why I felt heartache that day on Tuesday.

I hesitated for a while to say anything, because my guess of his childhood might be too assumptious to begin with, and he is such a respectable monk, I feel that its not right of me to say anything about him without knowing his background. But my teacher kept pressing, and said that its okie. I just say whatever comes to mind. So in the end, after some persuasion from her, I told her how I felt. Well, not entirely, but I just asked if he had a sad childhood.

She replied that she saw his biography, and that he was very sickly since young. Only after he found his spiritual support, that he grew more and more healthy.

hmmm...