As I lay in bed awake and unable to sleep, suddenly a thought dawn on me why my siblings and me don't help out household chores. My mom always complain about how we failed to help her to do housework and honestly I myself also wondered why even in my twenties I did not help out in the household. Why?? Why did we not have the initiative to do help out in the household? This seems like the most natural thing we should have done but didn't. This question although not voiced out, had been in the back of my mind for a really long time.
Recently Tara hasn't been responding well~ and one day our fan blade dropped. As I was discussing w my friends, it could be the possibility of feeling pressured according to fengshui terms. Not just me but Tara as well. Because my hubby did overtime pretty much the whole week, I was feeling pressured to get Tara to learn and respond well, unknowingly I think I flared up at her when she didn't respond. I think this put pressure on her and she kinda stopped responding all together. After realising this, I began to be more gentle to her. A friend who is very good in teaching children told me before that we cannot be forceful when teaching, the child will associate teaching with unhappiness. That will deter her from learning.
Then suddenly, I realised the reason why my siblings and I did not take initiative to help out household chores when we were young. It's because we never had the encouragement to do so. When we tried to mimic sweeping the floor etc, we were always scolded and discouraged from doing so as we were being a "hindrance". Even when we were older and the odd times when we wanted to help out in the house, my mom would always do it in her own timing without telling us and then complain we never help after that.
This is my feeling - especially when a child is young, cues are taken from the parents 100% and even more in the subconscious mind. As the brain is not fully developed, logic (and I think discernment) is not fully formed, most of the events go into our subconscious**, as this is the primary mode where the mind is operating.
By not helping out in the household from young has quite a few repercussions, we fail to have the initiative to do things for our family, which means we also failed to show our love to them. And being in the same household without helping, its like there is an invisible barrier between the family members. Actions help break the barrier in energy form.
"Every time a child try to do something and is discouraged, he or she is learning not to, not only for the moment, but for the lifetime. As unconscious as many of us as parents are, these are "drop by drop" teaching we are giving to our children, as minute as it may seems."
May we all give our children of the next generation healthy values and loving attitudes. :)
**Subconscious mind (or subtle conscious mind) is our auto-pilot operating system. All of us, even as adults, pretty much steer our whole life values and principles (thus our situations, such as rich, poor, how treat ourselves and other people and etc) are mostly due to our subconscious mind, as much as we think we are operating from our logic and thinking system. We are actually not. Haha.
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