Monday, September 28, 2015

White Tara~~

As I was thinking about chanting Green Tara for some protection, like the time I did with my relationship with my hubby, I went to search online for the meaning of White Tara.. And suddenly the visions of both Taras appeared before me. Green one first.. I felt peace, then White Tara appeared in my vision as I was reading abt it as another representation of compassion.. The moment it appeared I felt it's my baby girl Tara.. And I got tingles running through in my whole body and my tears well up.. I felt the compassion instantly.. 

True compassion has no words to represent it, it's a very soft kind of energy, and melts me and enfolds me completely. I am so blessed. So very blessed.. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Car accident

I had quite a major car accident one 21st Sept 2015, just 2 days ago. I was really shocked and traumatized by what happened.. And first thought that come to me is that I'm really v unlucky these few months.. But I also know that everything happened for a reason, and I prayed to know the reason soon. Because I felt really bad at what happened. But everyone who was involved in the accident was really kind and loving.. Even my husband whose car had to be sent to the workshop was telling and consoling me that it's okie.. He is not angry and in fact, keep trying to cheer me up. The uncle and auntie from the opposite car was smiling and saying bye bye to me.. It was really kind of them although I did give them a lot of trouble.. Even the bus uncle that I hit was smiling and saying it's okie, only a small scratch, but had to wait for the company to come and validate. The traffic policeman who came down helped me to explain to our IO. And he was v kind to me as well. Even our IO personally sent a SMS to me to remind me to make the police report and telling me how he understood as a father that leg cramps for pregnant woman are totally understandable. My hubby and I were so touched by his concern and gesture! The next day when I was at the car garage, I saw how amazing my hubby was with everyone... And how everyone loved him. And everyone was really nice to me as well because of the way he is with them. Love was just flowing everywhere~

Fast forward 2 days later.. I came back to office because I was afraid that I don't have enough leave days, although I have been given a week's mc by the doctor from mount alvernia. It was a good decision to come back, because many of my colleagues showered me with concern. I never felt more loved and accepted (even when I did something wrong) in these couple of months than now. Now I completely know why the accident happened.. Its for me to see how much love I have around me.. And to open the door of my heart and to let it all flow in. To me, this accident now feels more like a miracle. How everyone can be so loving towards me even during an accident. It's really unbelieveable. And I know that Buddha and Guanyin and my guardian angels have protected me as well because just during the trip back from work, there was a short pause during the drive and I somehow decided to put on the ikea clip on my seat belt so it won't keep pulling on my stomach. And when the accident happened, the seat belt didn't pull at my stomach one bit. And the air bag did not inflat as all. Even the paramedics was asking about it. It was lucky it was after a right-turn so the impact was relatively light. Thank you Buddhas, Boddisativas and guardian angels that protected me and my baby Tara from harm from this accident. I really give thanks and gratitude. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you everyone. 

To add on, 26th Sept 2015, I just wrote in my gratitude journal- 

Daniel has been so supportive during this period of time, he is simply amazing and I begin to see him in a different light.. Not that he wasn't good before, but even better.. Both our families were also v forgiving and accepting of my mistake. It has been an amazing journey. The doors of my loving heart finally opened during this incident.. :) 

Friday, September 18, 2015

Teal Swan and picking up others energy

While I was listening to her YouTube about her workshop, there was a case where the guy is an empath and physic, and Teal Swan was too. Initially I was envious of them both having such strong reception towards other people's feelings. And thinking how an asshole I was to totally ignore and offend ppl around me all the time. But I suddenly realised that I have been picking up people's vibrations as well. I'm not like them where I'm directly receptive and recieving them clearly, but I pick up on people vulnerabilities, and I usually don't know how to react. I just realised that my habitual way denying pain is to cover up with anger. So I lashe out at them, telling them to do it a certain way. Of coz, that always backfires. Ya.. We all know that right? 

Like recently my batch girls and I have a pretty serious conversation on the sg general election. And one of my batch girl was complaining the hell out of our govt continuously for 3 days.. And I got really frustrated and said how complaining makes one a victim and vulnerable. Honestly I can't stand hearing a victim continuously complaining. And I react in anger. I guess everyone has different way to handling things.. Anger is more like my habitual reaction. And it comes from my family and I know it. 

And of coz she din recieve it well. After wards, I felt terrible. But also indignant. But suddenly while watching Teal Swan's workshop, I realised that I was clearly picking up on her pain and victim mode, and I just decided to give her advice without her wanting it. Wow. I tot I was being an asshole. Clearly I don't know how to execute it in a way where it's recieved well. Perhaps I really need to chant more om mani padme hung to have more loving kindness. 

This is the YouTube link: 

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Ultimate surrender

The ultimate surrender is to stop living in the past or future, stop yearning for the approval of others, and stop trying to control and situation. Simply experience it instead. This is a profound transformational shift because the ego doesn't know how to do this, and maybe never will. The highest form of surrender is when you free yourself from your ego perceptions and experience life from the full vantage point of your Spirit. Because you are only temporarily in a physical form, death to this form is inevitable. The ego game is to pretend that it won't happen, but this takes you away from fully living and enjoying life.

Accepting death is the ultimate surrender and the highest form of transformation to Spirit. We have no choice. But when we accept death to the best of our ability, we are given the most powerful gift of life-the freedom to fully live as our authentic selves.